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　　Robert Hughes has trained his critical eye on many major

subjects, from the city of Barcelona to the history of his native

Australia. Now he turns that eye inward, onto himself and the world

that formed him. Hughes analyzes his experiences the way he might

examine a Van Gogh or a Picasso. From his relationship with his

stern and distant father to his Catholic upbringing and school

years; and from his development as an artist, writer, and critic to

his growing appreciation of art and his exhilaration at leaving

Australia to discover a new life, Hughes’ memoir is an

extraordinary feat of exploration and celebration.

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　　Robert Hughes was born in Australia in 1938. Since 1970 he has

lived and worked in the United States, where until 2001 he was

chief art critic for Time, to which he still contributes. His books

include The Shock of the New, The Fatal Shore, Nothing if Not

Critical, Barcelona, and Goya. He is the recipient of a number of

awards and prizes for his work.

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Some law officers hear only the threatened action,"I'll kill this lady,"while failing to hear the conditions under which that action will be taken:"if you try to come in here."That is one reason why the most critical skills of a negotiator are self-control and the ability to help those around you keep their cool.

Few case studies so succinctly illustrate the value of the negotiation process:Contain.Open communications to deescalate tension.Stall for time.Lower expectations.Make him bargain for everything.

The core of the new curriculum consisted of specific active listening skills first developed by the counseling profession.In brief,this entails creating positive relationships with people by demonstrating an understanding of what they're going through and how they feel about it.By applying this approach,the negotiator can demonstrate empathy and show a sincere desire to better understand what the individuals is experiencing.We know that people want to be shown respect,and they want to be understood.Listening is the cheapest,yet most effective concession we can make.The positive relationship achieved through this interaction then sets the stage for the negotiator to exert a positive influence over others' behavior,steering them away from violence.

After the movie Silence of the Lambs came out,local authorities often asked for a profiler when what they really needed was a negotiator.

If I've gained any wisdom in my FBI career,it has come from recognizing the degree to which everyday life can mirror the dynamics of the destructive standoffs I faced in my FBI job.Each of us is called upon to negotiate stressful situations in business,social encounters,and family life time and again.From what I've observed,the happiest and most successful people tend to be those who are able to remain calm at these difficult times and put aside emotions such as pride or anger that stop them from finding common ground.We all need to be good listeners and learn to demonstrate our empathy and understanding of the problems,needs,and issues of others.Only then can we hope to influence their behavior in a positive way.

You might even say that all of life is a negotiation.

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