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　　Combining fascinating research with revealing commentary from

hundreds of women, this groundbreaking book explores the personal

and societal reasons women seldom ask for what they need, want, and

deserve at home and at work–and shows how they can develop this

crucial skill.　　

By neglecting to negotiate her starting salary for her first job,

a woman may sacrifice over half a million dollars in earnings by

the end of her career. Yet, as research reveals, men are four times

more likely to ask for higher pay than are women with the same

qualifications. From career promotions to help with child care,

studies show time and again that women don’t ask–and frequently

don’t even realize that they can. Women Don’t Ask offers real-life

examples of the differences between the negotiating habits of men

and women, and guides women in retooling their attitudes and

approaches. Discover how to:　　

? Take the first step–choosing to negotiate at all

? Develop a comfortable, effective negotiation style

? Overcome fear, personal entitlement issues, and gender

stereotypes

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　　Linda Babcock is James M. Walton Professor of Economics at the

H. John Heinz III School of Public Policy and Management of

Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has

also been a visiting professor at Harvard Business School, The

Unicersity of Chicago Graduate School of Business, and the

California Institute of Technology. A specialist in negotiation and

dispute resolution, her research has appeared in the most

prestigious economics, inductrial relations, and law

journals.

　　Sara Laschever's work has been published by the New York Times,

the New York Review of Books, and Vogue, among other publications.

She was also the principal interviewer for Project Access, a

landmark Harvard University srudy on women in science careers

funded by the National Science Foundation. She lives in Concord,

Mass.

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In women's perception, their circumstances are more fixed and absolute—less negotiable—than they really are. It also highlights the assumption made by many women that someone or something else is in control. This assumption has a broad impact on women’s behaviour.

Instead of looking for ways to improve a difficult situation, women often assume that they are “stuck” with their circumstances. Instead of publicizing their accomplishments, they hope that hard work alone will earn them the recognition and rewards they deserve. Instead of expressing interest in new opportunities as they arise, they bide their time, assuming that they will be invited to participate if their participation is wanted. They think any allowable divergences from the status quo will be announced and offered to everyone...

Louise, 37, a high-ranking power company executive, routinely negotiates deals worth millions of dollars. But when it comes to her own compensation, she would rather be given what she deserves and spared the necessity of asking for it. In a well-managed company, she believes, senior management should recognize everyone’s individual contributions and give them what they’re worth. “They ought to just deal with those inequities,” she said. “And it shouldn’t be always on the employee to ask.”

Likewise, even though Christine learned early that she needs to promote her own interest on the job, she persists in feeling that when an industry is moving ahead and pay levels re increasing, valuable employees shouldn’t be forced to ask for their salaries to be adjusted accordingly. “My own feeling,” s...

Why are men more likely than women to take the chance of asking for something they want, even when there’s no obvious evidence that the change they want is possible? A group of psychologists had identified an interesting gender difference that helps answer this question. Using something called a “lotus of control” scale, these researchers measure the extent to which individuals believe that their behaviour influences their circumstances. The lower people score on the scale, the more they perceive their fate to be influenced by internal rather than external factors.

一般而言，同男性相比，女性更担心自己的行动给人际关系带来的影响。这种担心会促使她们改变行动策略来维护人际关系，她们有时候会间接地提出要求，有时候会要求低于自己期待值的东西，有的时候只是努力使自己更值得获得自己想要的东西（比如，通过更努力地工作），寄希望于不提出要求就得到自己想要的东西。女性还常常会采取比男性的策略更具合作性的办法来解决问题，希望能够找到对双方都有好处的办法， 将自己的要求同共同的目标统一起来。

在许多情况下，女性的办法可以比男性通常采取的方式更优越。然而，不幸的是，在这个主要由男性来定义的职场环境中，女性的策略通常会被错误解读，使她们自己成为弱势的一方。而且，在很多情况下，得到一样东西的唯一渠道就是直接提出要求。

我们喜欢把自己看做是独立自主和受自己内心支配的人，相信是我们的基因和性格决定了我们到底是谁以及我们会做什么。而事实恰恰相反：我们其实很容易受到周边环境、直接背景以及周围人性格的影响。

希瑟的经历非常典型，反映出了在更多时候阻止女人开口要求自己想要的东西的一些重要障碍：她们认为环境是固定的、绝对的，没有多少协商余地的，而现实并非铁板一块。这个例子还反映出了女性相信的另外一个假设：是其他人或者其他东西在控制一切。......在困境中，女性不能积极寻求改善环境的方法，而是认为自己被环境缚住了手脚。她们不会到处去宣扬自己的成就，而是寄希望于辛勤的工作能够为自己带来应得的肯定和奖赏。“我通常相信人们是公正的，也许我太容易相信人了，总是期待只要我非常努力地工作，我就能够得到应得的一切”......为什么女性假定自己必须等待别人施与那些自己想要和需要的东西，而没有意识到，在更多的情况下，机遇是不会自己找上门来的。

·我认为一个人必须主动要求自己想要的东西而不是等着别人提供

·只有人们肯提出要求，是有很多东西在等着他们的

·在一天内我同别人进行的交往中有许多是可以该站我的境况的机遇

同女性相比，男性更容易相信能够通过要求而创造出机会，或者至少相信变化是可能性的，所以，他们更有可能主动开口让人们知道他们想要什么，这又有什么好奇怪的呢？

里纳塔意识到这幅画现在肯定要卖出天价了，她很快地找到那个画商，却发现画已经售出了。“如果你那么喜欢那幅画，就应该跟我商量出一个付款方案，”画商说，“我肯定能找到一个让你拥有它的办法。”里纳塔从此再也没有见到那幅画，而且原因就是她想当然地认为价钱是死的，自己要么买得起要么买不起，根本完全没有商量的余地。

书籍介绍

Combining fascinating research with revealing commentary from hundreds of women, this groundbreaking book explores the personal and societal reasons women seldom ask for what they need, want, and deserve at home and at work–and shows how they can develop this crucial skill.

By neglecting to negotiate her starting salary for her first job, a woman may sacrifice over half a million dollars in earnings by the end of her career. Yet, as research reveals, men are four times more likely to ask for higher pay than are women with the same qualifications. From career promotions to help with child care, studies show time and again that women don’t ask–and frequently don’t even realize that they can. Women Don’t Ask offers real-life examples of the differences between the negotiating habits of men and women, and guides women in retooling their attitudes and approaches. Discover how to:

• Take the first step–choosing to negotiate at all

• Develop a comfortable, effective negotiation style

• Overcome fear, personal entitlement issues, and gender stereotypes