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“成为”并不意味着一定要到达某个位置或者达到某一特定目标；相反，我认为“成为”应该是一种前进的状态，一种进化的方式，一种不断朝着更完美的自我奋斗的途径，这条道路没有终点。我成为一位母亲，但是在为孩子们付出的同时，我一样可以从她们身上学习到很多；我成为一名妻子，但是，对于如何去爱一个人，对于与另一个人携手生活，我仍在适应，有时也会遭遇挫折。从一些标准来衡量，我已经成为一名拥有权力的女性，但仍然有很多时候，我感觉没有安全感，感觉自己被忽视。“成为”是一个漫长的过程，需要一步一步慢慢实现。“成为”既需要耐心，也需要艰苦付出，二者同等重要。“成为”是永不放弃要继续成长的想法。

When it came to the home-for-dinner dilemma, I installed new boundaries, ones that worked better for me and the girls. We made our schedule and stuck to it. Dinner each night was at 6:30. Baths were at 7:00, followed by books, cuddling, and lights-out at 8:00 sharp. The routine was ironclad, which put the weight of responsibility on Barack to either make it on time or not. For me, this made so much more sense than holding off dinner or having the girls wait up sleepily for a hug. It went back to my wishes for them to grow up strong and centered and also unaccomodating to any form of old-school patriarchy: I didn't want them ever to believe that life began when the man of the house arrived home. We didn't wait for Dad. It was his job now to catch up with us.

在我的人生中，我很幸运地遇到了许多不同凡响、颇有建树的人，其中有世界领袖、发明家、音乐家、宇航员、运动员、教授、企业家、艺术家和作家，以及有开拓精神的医生和研究者。其中一些（尽管数量不多）是女性，一些（尽管数量也不多）是黑人或其他有色人种，一些人出身贫寒，还有的人在我们看来遭遇了重重磨难，但是他们在人生路上披荆斩棘，仿佛拥有世界上所有的优点。我了解到，他们所有人都遭受过质疑。有些人现在依然有众多激烈的批评者和反对者，数量多到能装满一个体育场。每当他们失误或犯错时，那些人就会大喊“我早说过你不行”。这种噪音不会消失，但我知道的那些成功的人都想出了办法应对，那就是依赖那些对他们有信心的人，并不懈地向目标挺进。

If you don’t get out there and define yourself, you’ll be quickly and inaccurately defined by others. I wasn’t interested in slotting myself into a passive role, waiting for Barack’s team to give me direction. After coming through the crucible of the last year, I knew that I would never allow myself to get that banged up again.

These were women who knew their own voices and were unafraid to use them. They could be humorous and humble when the moment called for it, but they were unfazed by blowhards and didn't second-guess the power of their own points of view. Also, improtantly, they were working moms.

My considerable blessings in life were now causing a kind of psychic whiplash. I'd been raised to be confident and see no limits, to believe I could go after and get absolutely anything I wanted. And I wanted everything. Because, as suzanne would say, why not? I wanted to live with the hat-tossing, independent-career-woman zest of Mary Tyler Moore, and at the same time I gravitated toward the stabilizing, self-sacrificing,seemingly bland normalcy of being a wife and mother. I wanted to have a work life and a home ...

今天的我认为，大人问孩子的一个最没用的问题就是“你长大后想干什么？”好像长大就是终点。好像在某一个刻，你成了ー个什么，然后一切就结束了。

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