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　　AN INTERVIEW WITH AN ADMISSIONS OFFICER

　　He still had a hundred essays to read before 6:00 p.m., and he

was beginning to grow tired. My interview with him would offer a

brief break from the Herculean task of narrowing ten thousand

applicants to a freshman class of nine hundred.

　　?I hope your book works,? he joked, ?so maybe next year I won?t

have to read five hundred essays about the yearlong drama of being

student council president. I?m sorry, but successful car washes

just don?t make for enthralling reading.?

　　I smiled. He rubbed his eyes.

　　?On a Wednesday in the middle of March this job gets tough.

Sometimes it seems that there are only four types of essays: the

?class president essay, the ?I lost but learned? sports essay, the

?I went to Europe and learned how complex the world is? essay, and

the good old ?being yearbook editor sure is hard work? essay. When

I read one of those, it takes amazing willpower to get to the third

paragraph.?

　　?So sometimes you don?t read the whole essay?? I asked.

　　?No comment,? he replied, changing the subject. ?I wish students

would realize that when they write they should have something to

say. They should try to present their values and priorities by

writing on a subject that really means something to them, because,

other than the essay, all I have is a bunch of test scores and

activities: ten thousand sets of numbers and facts. I?d like to be

able to see beyond that. I want to see what makes someone

tick.?

　　?But couldn?t that be dangerous?? I asked. ?What if someone

writes something really bizarre, just to avoid being ?boring?? Can

strange ideas or comments hurt an applicant??

　　?Well, if someone expressed homicidal tendencies, it would

probably have a negative effect. Still, you?d be surprised how

tolerant we are. A few years ago, we had a kid from Palestine

apply. In his essay, he endorsed Yassir Arafat and the PLO. As far

as he was concerned, Israel had usurped the rightful land of his

people and should be treated as a criminal state. The admissions

officer who covered the Middle East was an Orthodox Jew. Not only

did the student get in, but he graduated with honors in political

science.

　　?In fact, being offbeat or daring is usually a plus, as long as

the student stays in control of his writing. The essays which are

most ef- fective seize a topic with confidence and imagination. Too

many applicants treat their essay like a minefield. They walk

around on tiptoe, avoiding anything controversial. Of course, the

essay comes out two-dimensional, flat, and boring. It seems like

many essays have been read, proofread, and reproofread until all

the life has been sucked out. I wish kids would just relax and not

try to guess what the admissions committee is looking for. As soon

as they start playing that game, they?re going to lose. The essay

won?t be from the heart, and it won?t work.

　　?The great essays?good writers discussing something of personal

importance?stick out like diamonds in a coal bin. When we?re

sorting through the last few hundred applications, an essay that

sticks out in an admissions officer?s mind has got to help the

applicant who wrote it.?

　　?How important is it to be a good writer?? I asked.

　　?Writing style tells you a lot about the way a person thinks. I

like when a student brings a sense of style to a piece, as a good

essayist or editorial writer would do. I?ve always advocated

reading the essays of E. B. White as a means of preparing for

writing the essay. I also suggest that students read the editorial

pages of the local newspaper. But we never discount the student who

writes a simple, even awkward, essay that is sincere and

moving.

　　?That?s why I urge students to write as they would in a diary or

a letter to a friend. When you write a letter, you may ramble, but

when you?re finished, your letter sounds like something you would

really say.?

　　?So an honest, personal essay is best??

　　?No, there is no ?best? type of essay. But when a ?personal?

essay is done well, it can be very effective. The best I?ve ever

read was written about fifteen years ago by a football recruit. His

application was perfect: high school all-America quarterback,

president of his class, 3.8 GPA, and a mile-long list of

extracurriculars. But his essay was about his stuttering. He wrote

about his loneliness in junior high, about the girls who laughed at

him, and about the wall he built around himself. Since football was

something he really loved, he buried himself in it, spending

afternoons in the weight room and nights in front of a mirror,

practicing words and signals so he wouldn?t embarrass himself by

stuttering on the field.

　　?When you put an essay like that beside one of those

self-absorbed recitals of high school achievements?there?s just no

comparison.?

　　I decided to change the subject a little. ?What really irritates

you in an essay??

　　?Arrogance and pretentiousness are bad, but the only thing that

really bugs me is when a student doesn?t put his personality into

an essay. I always hear parents and students complain that colleges

don?t look so much at the individual student as they do at scores,

grades, and class rank, so I?m disappointed when students don?t

take advantage of the only place in the application that allows

them to express their individuality.?

　　?Okay, then,? I asked, ?what do you really like to see??

　　?I always enjoy essays where the author realizes that he?s

writing for an audience of real human beings. I also like essays

with a touch of excitement and enthusiasm, and I like an applicant

who demonstrates the ability to look at himself from the outside.

And, of course, wit never hurts.?

　　?So should applicants try to write funny essays??

　　? ?Funny? isn?t a good word, because there?s a fine line between

something that is humorous and something that is obnoxious or

in……

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